The server

Q:  I recently got out of a long term relationship with a girl whom I would’ve done anything for, but she wasn’t ready to get married.  I was crushed, but I forced myself to get out and meet new people, hang out with old friends and just enjoy life.  I didn’t expect to meet anyone but was just looking for something to take my mind off my hurt and disappointment.  My friends and I have a weekly outing to a local sports bar and a server there was always friendly with me and joking about us going out.  I thought nothing of it and I assumed that was just how she did her job and that she flirted with everybody.  This went on for a few weeks and my best friend pointed out that our server was very interested in me and really wanted to date me.  It took me a while to really believe it, but I did notice how she took extra care with any of my meal or drinks and paid extra attention to me out of all the guys that were with me.  She wasn’t really my type and I didn’t really feel any attraction, but I said yes when she asked if I wanted to go out with her to a concert.  We hit it off and she was great to hang out with, made me laugh and paid so much attention to me, which I enjoyed.  I have a hard time finding myself attracted to her but I enjoy being with her.  I find myself liking her as a person more as we hang out and we have been hanging out for several months now.  Should I continue on with it or let her know that I’m not attracted to her in that way?

A:  Woah!  Several months without letting the girl know, yikes!  But we’ll get back to that.  I could definitely see your concern given you just got out of a relationship.  The last thing you want to do is to step into a rebound relationship!  Do you find yourself comparing her to the ex?  I’m betting you do, and it’s time to squash the comparison.  Your ex may have been someone you were physically attracted to you, but obviously in the end, that didn’t pan through as she wouldn’t walk down the altar with you!  Honey, looks aren’t everything and obviously she’s making an impression on you as you like her more and more as you spend time with her.  You’re obviously confused and may be letting a good thing pass you by, since you do obviously like her as a person!  And going back to the several months of hanging out, let the girl know the real deal, a) that you’re confused and you have no idea what’s going on and she should not set her sights on you or b) you’re interested but just need some time to sort through things (with your current feelings and the ex).  Or shoot, I say pucker up and go for the kiss.  Put this puppy to bed for both of you and see if those growing feelings are friendship or something more.  You may be surprised, you might like it!  Life is young, enjoy it!!  Sort through those feelings and set aside what’s real and what’s not.  Appreciate the woman in front of you who’s giving you the attention you deserve, and be honest with her, any other woman you come across, and with yourself.  And should you give her the boot, don’t be surprised if your heart starts to take a turn when you see her with another man.  I know you just got out of a relationship and good things come to those who wait.  But sometimes darling, the wait isn’t very long, sometimes the very good thing we need is sitting in front of us.  Take a chance or let her go, no one can sit on the fence forever, it actually starts to hurt.


About Girls Love Bling Boutique
Women's resale clothing and wardrobe styling services BeautiControl consultant: 2509 N Pace Blvd Pensacola, FL 32505 850.583.0769

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