Up, down, left, right, and all around

Q: I met a really great guy, but I cannot figure him out or what I should do. We met about 6 weeks ago at a local bar and we hit it off from the get go. We laughed, joked, and talked about our interests. He asked me to ‘stay with him’ and much to my dismay, even though I had never done it before, I agreed. He was only in town for the weekend visiting from up north, so I knew if I didn’t go spend that time with him now, that that would be the end of it all. When we went back to his place, we talked about everything and it just flowed, then as I knew the time was getting close to go to ‘sleep’. I freaked out, pulled the throw blanket over my head and said, ‘I’ve never done this before’. To which he replied laughing, ‘I can tell.’ I got more comfortable and we took it from there. He and I had a vibe that just gelled. We were really enjoying each other’s company. In the morning, I took off and we agreed we’d stay in touch. So, the last several weeks we have, we’ve talked about all the things we’ll do when see each other next and how we couldn’t wait to see each other again. Then the confusion started, in our conversation, I revealed I was a recovering alcoholic, then I heard nothing from him for 2 days. Until I prodded him that I had more respect for him than to expect something like this. He explained how his ex-wife was an alcoholic and he got cold feet when he heard I was a recovering one. He had to travel for work (he was a commercial pilot) and was gone for a week or so, and then he had to go out of the country and told me when he’d get back later that week. He surprised me when he contacted me a day before he was suppose to return and called me as soon as he had gotten in. And our time talking was great, it was undeniably we had a bond, we were very similar in a lot of ways and we are both smart and witty. So, our conversations would roll with a sweetness I have never experienced. He told me we could finally see each other for a second time because he had a job near me and we started planning for it. Then it got canceled, and I changed my plans, then it ended up getting rescheduled but he didn’t tell me. And he went on the trip without me. I let it go figuring he had good reasons. The next week I decided to cut it off, I was just so confused and didn’t like the direction of things. He was standoffish, but when I contacted him later that night to text him a picture of a painting I had made for him of his plane, we started talking about seeing each other again. And then, he asked me to come with him on his trip the upcoming weekend. I agreed, and then the next day, we both got cold feet and I didn’t respond to his texts. And then he told me that maybe we shouldn’t meet because we might not be able to let go if we saw each other again. Then that night, I sent him a drunk text (I know, terrible idea) and it said: ‘I’m drink right but you are one hot a@@ mother@#$^%$. Lol. I will miss sex with you, it was good, but I guess I’ll have to settle for my other ways and kissing on birthday girl tonight. Bye bye 747!!!!!! Fly away, our time is done. Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. D*(! and p@ssy will come back around, it ways does. Take care yours!!! Hahaha.’ What should I do?

A: I’m hearing a whole lot of drama and no real meat to this thing you have. And that is an amazing little text you sent that is a prime example of why drunk texting is AWFUL. Next time homegirl, turn your phone off when you’re drunk, you’ll save yourself from free falling onto the pavement face first. I’d use the term ‘dating’ like you used, but honestly, from what you’ve told me, it sounds just like a ‘failure to launch’ scenario. Wow, I didn’t even date the guy and even I feel like I’ve been pulled all across the world in 10 different ways!! I hear you that you guys really gelled, but this guy’s got more issues than the Hearst magazine corporation. Hello world traveler! His issues could be anywhere from being burned in a past relationship, failure to commit, pathological liar, or player. Who knows, but it’s not your job to find out, cut out now while you can when you haven’t developed an attachment, it’ll save yourself from a lot of pulling out your hair. Take this experience down, package it up, and put it back in the wall of lessons learned when meeting a new guy from out of town. Unless you’re a serial lover or player, don’t sleep with the guy on the first date. I’m sure had you known you were sleeping with a confused boy from the get go, you would’ve ran out the door or just said ‘talk to the hand’ when he asked you to come home with him. Let that guy and his ball of confusion go so he can explode somewhere else. It’s time to say ‘bye, bye, bye’. He MAY wise up, but don’t count on it.


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