East crashes with the west

Q: A few years ago when my ex-boyfriend and I were on a break, I met a really great Muslim guy. I’m a pretty strong Baptist girl, I was raised in the south, but we hit it off. We were attracted to each other and he was even okay with my newborn baby girl. We were dating for a couple months, and I started to get cold feet about getting fully intimate. I had only been with one guy, my ex-boyfriend, so I wasn’t ready for that next step. I cut things off without explanation. I didn’t hear from him til last year when we ran into each other at a restaurant. We exchanged numbers and then agreed to see each other since I had just left my ex-boyfriend last month. We started to mess around that first night and then I stopped him because I wanted more than just to be a sexual outlet for a guy. A couple weeks after that, I really didn’t hear from him much and then he let the news out that he was talking to a Muslim girl from his hometown. I was crushed, he was a nice guy, we were 2 different religions, but I still wanted to see where things would go. We didn’t talk for a year after that night we abruptly ended our physical intimacy. Then recently we had the following conversation via text messaging after I invited him to my birthday party.

ME: are you going to make it out or what?

ME: or shall you remain a FB friend in memory forever…are you really gonna let my last memory of you be one where we were on the couch and everything went blue and then..

ME: you know the rest…

HIM: Lol. you know I’m dating that girl and eventually wanna marry her

ME: Hahahaha. Funny, I know.

HIM: are you asking for my gun? lol

ME: Huh? now or before?

HIM: now

ME: umm..is that sexual, cause I’m not sure how to answer that, lol.

HIM: yes it is, lol

ME: if i say yes, you may not come

ME: if I say no, you’ll feel insulted, lol

ME: I’ve seen your gun before, hehe, nice gun, lmao

HIM: u sent him home sad, lol


HIM: no kisses no…

ME: YOU!!!!

HIM: =(

ME: besides, if we did it, and didn’t see each other again since that night like we have been this time around, i’d be so MAD at you

HIM: i still have the picture in my brain, lol

ME: oh my…our one close encounter and and it’s so vivid…

ME: it’s a funny story though…cool…we can talk about it like it’s a science class…haha

ME: yes, I wanted you very bad PUNK

HIM: obviously not

ME: i hate you, haha, I still have feelings if I get intimate with someone!

HIM: you don’t want a F buddy

Should I give this one last shot or just let it go and keep him as a friend? We have a great connection and he’s always genuinely interested in how I’m doing, we’re going on 3 years since we’ve known each other.

A: Flirting is always fun, it sounds as though you guys do have a connection with some charming, flirty banter. But if we acted on all our connections with people, well, none of us would be married. He seems to have his boys in check since he’s not going to meet you and not tempt himself. I think this is definitely one to let go of, there’s just too many culture differences between the two of you which the current ‘girlfriend’ has over you. To top it off, he’s made it known that he wants to marry her, if you try for anything, you’re going to walk away hurt and disappointed. You’re setting yourself up for failure if you try to move in on that. I’m sure you have regrets of never knowing where things could’ve gone, but you’ll just have to let go of that. Curiosity did kill the cat, after all. And he clearly tells you he doesn’t want anything serious. If anything were to happen, it sounds like this guy is just out for possibly making you his new conquest as he sounds really disappointed with this one last night you guys had (sounds pretty memorable if you’re still talking about it a year later). Hold tight baby girl, you’re fresh out of a relationship, your heart is too precious to just give away to anyone. Keep him as your friend, you guys can always joke around about your one night for laughs. That’s a better feeling to walk away with than to never talk to a guy again after something so intimate. You made a smart decision long ago to stay away when you were newly single, pat yourself on the back. Keep it going, someday you’ll find someone who’ll want you entirely in every single way and will always let you have his gun.


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2 Responses to East crashes with the west

  1. A says:

    Hey lady….well from one very experienced in muslim men lady…to you– This is not a cultural thing in my opinion. This man was looking for some booty i.e. sexual encounter…you happened to be on his dail/text list for booty…he thought eventually you may give into his charms, and you may NOT see between the lines…it’s not always easy to see between the lines when you might like a guy…yet from an outsiders perspective this man wants booty…it’s crystal clear. The fact that he was trying to be super honest about his ‘only’ wanting to give you his gun, and you give him some pleasure, while he in the background declaring his love to another, makes him mildly appealing. Appealing is an understatement though, because he is still looking for ‘just sex’ from you or probably any other hot thing to cross his path. He wants sex baby plain and simple. Then after he is finished trying you on for size or any other woman on he will crawl home to his lover/ gf like nothing ever happened. This sort of behavior happens in every culture…and be abso-freakin-lutly sure if you let him go you are saving yourself some MAJOR heartache & MAJOR disappointment—one HUGE reason also is that his behavior may not stop even after he is married almost 90% it would not stop…he is getting used to cheating and this behavior is starting to seem normal to him….there are men as Ellen stated out there waiting to treat you as a QUEEN. They exist, I’ve been with several and they are what make women realize how to throw these kinda sleaze bags to the trash can…or back to their girlfriends or wives where they belong:)….xoxo

    • Thanks for the insight and feedback! Always nice to have different perspectives!!! The girl in the story never went back to the guy, so all is well in her world. They do remain friends though.

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