Straight laced and not taking chances

Q: A childhood girlfriend of mine that I’ve been in love with forever recently introduced me to her strong Catholic girlfriend who lives in Georgia. I live in Washington State, but I thought I’d give it a chance and I had nothing to lose. I was a devout Catholic, so finding another devout Catholic girl who was a friend of a friend was a rare jewel. I’m getting close to my late 30’s and I live in a town where more than 50% of the town is married. Finding a girl in this town is nearly impossible. I started off our conversations with a simple email and we talked about our mutual friend and how awesome she is. It was our common starting point, but then from there, the emails just flowed. We talked about everything from our faith to our childhood and what we want out of life. She was a smart girl, very determined and strong but she still knew how to make me feel like a man. She made me feel wanted and needed. We exchanged emails and phone calls for the next 2 months. I ended up having to take a trip to Georgia for work, so we agreed that we would meet! I had a whole day free, so we planned to spend the whole day together and met early in the morning for breakfast. When she walked through the door, she was breathtaking and beautiful. She had a great smile and I could tell she was a happy friendly person. She was everything she was in the emails but much more magnificent. We had a blast, the physical chemistry was there, we had great intellectual conversations and she was kind and sweet. I knew she came from a good loving home like I did and she was definitely the type of girl I could spend the rest of my life with. I could tell she thought the world of me with her adoring eyes, but in the back of my mind, I knew she was going to leave for Air Force officer training at any time. I was used to my life back in Washington, I had great friends, a church, a great job, and a very active social life. We parted ways reluctantly and we continued to stay in touch, flirting and being emotionally close. I told her that I didn’t see myself moving. A couple months after our time in Georgia, she laid the bomb on me. She could no longer keep in contact with me knowing that I would never leave Washington. She wanted to cut all ties and not talk anymore. I respected her wishes and said okay. I was upset she was doing that and I couldn’t understand why. This is the one girl I’ve bonded closely with in the last 10 years, but I can’t see myself leaving Washington. Am I being too close minded? Am I letting a good thing go?

A: Really? I mean really? YES! Did I say yes? YES, you are letting a good thing go. Sir, if you stick to your guns about staying where you want to stay and not taking chances, you will end up staying single. Part of getting into a marriage/relationship is about sacrifice and taking chances. One or both of the people have to take the chances to make something happen. In your case, YOU don’t want to move, YOU don’t want to change, but that means the other person has to make ALL the sacrifices. Jobs will come and jobs will go, but finding the love of your life is something worth taking a chance for. If you don’t want to take chances, I suggest you sit back on your couch and keep living your life day in and day out the same. It’s much safer. And who could blame her for wanting to cut all ties with you? Who wants to be strung along for something that has no hope? You can’t keep her as your emotional crutch forever, if you’re gonna want to stand alone, you’re going to have to do it standing on your own 2 feet. I suggest you close the door on this one and say your goodbyes. You definitely let a good thing go, but sometimes in life you only get 1 chance. And if you’re willing to be alone, then keep doing what you’re doing. You’ll be alone, but you’ll be true to yourself, and if that’s the life you choose, more power to you. Just know what you’re saying goodbye to cause once it’s gone, it’s gone forever. We all have to take chances in life, no matter how young or old we are, and if we don’t, we keep ourselves from finding something worth having.

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