Divorcing the dog

Q: I was working with this beautiful, smart, funny, and exciting girl. We’re on the same project at work and I had interviewed her before she ever started working with us. I was captivated by her at our first meeting, I was the one who was going to give her a technical interview. I wasn’t expecting to find such a looker because it wasn’t common in our field. So, as I walked in, I looked down at her while she sat in the chair, and I was taken aback at what a pretty girl she was. She had a great smile and I totally lost my concentration. In the interview, you would’ve thought I was the one being interviewed with how nervous I was and she commanded the room acing the technical questions. She ended up getting the job and now she is straight business at work. So, for the last 6 months, I’ve admired her from afar and joked with her and flirted, but that was it. A few weeks ago, she pulled me aside to our outdoor break area and broke the news to me that she was taking a new job. I was the first person in the group that she told and it made me feel special. The next few weeks, we grew closer as we knew we were no longer going to be co-workers and we started flirting more. The only thing was that we were both living with someone. She and her boyfriend also shared 2 dogs. We would talk on the phone all the time, and we went out a few times. One day we went to the lake and laid out on the grass. I had been holding it in so long and I went to kiss her but she turned away. Then she told me that we couldn’t because we were both living with other people and that she couldn’t leave her boyfriend because she didn’t want to separate the 2 dogs. I’m not a dog person, so I sat there bewildered, she didn’t want to leave her boyfriend that she claimed she wasn’t even physical with, because of the dogs!! I had even bought her favorite cookies, Girl Scout Thin Mint cookies, for her birthday that day and she had just tossed them in her trunk. Should I continue pursuing her, am I getting the go ahead from her, or am I just spinning my wheels?

A: Throw those thin mint cookies over here, I guarantee they’ll do more than get tossed in MY trunk. How many do you have? TWO, as in the TWO dogs that are keeping you apart. Or so she says. She is right that you both are living with other people and that makes it really hairy, especially if one person feels more strongly (which sounds like is you) than the other. There’s no guarantee for either of you to leave your partners. It’s really early in the getting to know each other stage and even though she’s not ‘physical’ (whatever that means) with her boyfriend/roommate/co-dogparent, you both are putting yourselves in a red zone to cheat. I’m a big believer in ending something definitively before moving to the next thing. But, that’s how it goes in my book. Who knows, you may be feeling marriage with her and the dogs, with a hairy happily ever after. But, you barely know her outside of work. Beauty and brains can be a dangerous thing. I mean, she’s sleeping in the bed with her boyfriend and not doing anything. Really? I mean, really? Nothing? Is there a blockade between them or 2 dogs that keep them from the possibility of touching? Even a California king just takes a couple rollovers and you’re side by side. And we all know what happens then. Give her some breathing room and some time, if you go too fast into this, you may get burned. Right now, you’re obviously not important enough to set aside and resolve the dog issue. And, no bueno on the throwing the cookies! Keep yourself on guard, you may be messing with a girl who is a heartbreaker. Who knows how many other guys she’s gotten into the same situation with, only to go back to her boyfriend and dogs. And you sir, you may not have a dog, but have a girlfriend situation that needs to be handled. You deserve to be fair to her too. You can’t expect to have your cake and eat it too. Work it out with your current woman before you go sniffing around other homes or leave her. Move out, and start your new single life if you choose to leave her! Keep an eye on the new girl, that can get hairy and you don’t want to be a schmuck. Pounds!

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