Here’s looking at you Pop Tart!

Q: My friends and I go out to the club a lot but we’re pretty low key guys. We don’t really approach girls in the club, we’re just not very forward and aggressive. Of course, if a lady talks to us, we respond. We’re not standoffish at all. But girls making the first move rarely happens. We’re usually keeping to ourselves and aren’t really scanning the crowds or making flirty eye contact. So, I was surprised when that night, a gorgeous girl approached me while I was grabbing a drink from the bar. We joked around, she seemed very down to earth and had a great laugh and smile. All she wanted to order from the bar was mimosas which I thought was a little odd because it was a breakfast drink. I shrugged it off and dismissed it thinking it may just be her favorite drink. One of her favorite songs came on and she dragged me onto to the dance floor, I looked over at my boys and they winked, threw some fist pumps in there and laughed. I had my boys backing me up, so I was feeling a little more confident. When we were dancing, she was all over me and looked over at me with sexy eyes. I was definitely enjoying this. We stayed on the dancefloor for over an hour and the whole time she was shaking her assets and doing the whole sexy eye thing. My friend who owned the club walked by and put a ‘Trojan’ in my hand discretely. I was thinking things were looking up for me and I had a possible chance at hitting it that night. Then about 10 minutes later when they were doing last call, another friend of mine walked by slipping a ‘Lifestyles’ into my hand. All signs were go from there. Then it sealed the deal when she said she was too tipsy to drive and asked if one of my friends and I could follow her home. It was bold, something I’d never done before, but I offered to drive her home since I didn’t drive that night. She grinned and told me that would work. So, I drove her home and as soon as we pulled into her garage, she quickly exclaimed that I shouldn’t get out yet since her ex drives by sometime. I waited til the garage door was down and then stepped out. We entered the house and she walked toward her bedroom telling me she was going to change into something more comfortable. She had left the door slightly open and in the mirror facing me, I saw her body and bit my fingers, thinking ‘damn’. It was on, I was getting more into this and she came back out and we started making out. I was feeling it and ready. But as she led me into her bedroom, I passed by her picture frames with her ex-husband and kids in it. I felt a pang of guilt and regret. And as we continued to make out, I decided I couldn’t do it. So, with that, we ended up just falling asleep without going farther. The next morning I was abruptly awoken when she threw a pop tart at me. She was holding a mimosa again and she told me, ‘When I’m feeling great and energized from a great night, I cook a full breakfast. But when I feel disappointed, lethargic from the night before, I have a pop tart. I wanted to laugh but she had a serious look on her face. She was throwing a pop tart at me to express her disappointment that we hadn’t gone all the way. I’m so shocked at that and not sure what to do. I mean, I just needed more time before I made my move. She was hella sexy and I could understand her disappointment. Should I call her again? Should I try to see her again or just let this one go?

A: Lol. I had to pause for a second there, I had to stop myself from laughing. I’m sorry, nothing against you, it just sounds so silly that it couldn’t possibly be real. This is a first I’ve ever had of Pop Tarts involved in a first night ‘encounter’. Did you actually eat the Pop Tart? And was she eating Pop Tarts too? These all irrelevant questions, but I had to ask! Let’s see, there’s a couple things to consider here, 1) the ex husband, 2) the psycho ex husband, 3) her level of disappointment, and 4) what she really wants from you. Psychos scare me, especially at the level it sounds like her ex-husband is at. I mean, if you were coming home late from the club and he comes around that often that she felt the need to warn you, then that just multiplies his psycho factor. I’m not sure if you’re trying to date this girl long term or just having a little fun, either way, that’s a lot of trouble to get into with someone you barely know. Who knows what the ex is capable of! And I don’t think you’d want to find that out the hard way! Another thing to consider is how recent the divorce was. If you’re looking to date this girl or get to know her, being with a recently divorced person can be a sticky situation. You should probably find out more details on what caused the divorced and when it happened, that’ll give you an idea on where to go. As far as her level of disappointment, I’d say she got pretty upset from getting rejected, I mean really, how many times do we wake up to a pop tart being thrown at us. Even my mom didn’t do that when she was pissed at me. In my book, that’s a deal breaker, but I’m someone who’s looking for more than just a little fun. If you’re just looking for fun, that could be something you look past. And if she’s down for the same thing, then it’s time to just go with it. I say take a chance and contact her again. Push the envelope a little more next time, but make sure you don’t wake up with a pop tart thrown at your face. Or even worse, waking up in a tub of syrup. Hey, anything’s possible, I’m sure you didn’t think you’d get food pitched at you. Have fun, keep away from psycho trouble, and make sure you learn to block flying breakfast items!! All’s fair in the game of pop tart throwing!

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