Name calling

Q: Omg, I made the biggest mistake making out with my girlfriend’s friend at the club last week. I don’t know what got a hold of me. The guy was not my type at all and we didn’t even talk all night til we got on the dance floor and danced a few dances, which is when we kissed. I wasn’t that physically attracted to him, and I didn’t even have a lick of alcohol. I guess I’ve never been one to turn down a guy who tries to make a move, I feel bad shooting someone down. He was alright enough to go out with again and so we met at a local bar, he got my drinks all night and we had a pretty good conversation. He was a little crass here and there, sending rude responses here and there. He’s even called me names, like bogus and loser! One night while I was with my friends, he called. I didn’t pick up cause I was hanging with my friends and was not in the mood to have him around. So, we had this whole text message conversation after that.

Feb 6 12:00pm

ME: We were downtown at the piano bar

HIM: Your bogus n u couldn’t text me

Feb 8 12:38pm

HIM: So you can’t text huh

ME: I don’t appreciate being called names, nor will I respond to someone who does that to me. And second, I didn’t know I was obligated to text back in a certain timeframe.

HIM: Damn u being serious

Feb 9 8:32pm

HIM: Hello

Feb 10 9:47pm

HIM: So what was that mean text for

Feb 13 11:41pm

HIM: Y did u get all mean wit me the other day

ME: I wasn’t mean. I was assertive and firm, there’s a difference. And calling someone bogus is mean.

HIM: So anyways when am I going to get to see you again?

Feb 23 6:17pm

HIM: Hi looser

ME: Uh. Back at your LOSER!!

He’s expecting so much and puts so much pressure on when to text and calling back, etc. I talked to him on the phone as well, and he started laughing when I told him I was upset at him calling me names. And when I asked why he was laughing, he said because he thought it was hilarious that I got mad. This guy is trying my last nerve. How do I get him to quit?

A: Wow, are you sure this guy likes you? I don’t know where he got his ‘dating’ skills, but they sure weren’t from me! And btw, what’s a ‘looser’ anyways. I wouldn’t be much insulted by that just by the fact that it’s not a real word!!!! Yeah, putting on too much expectations on the other person early on is a no no. You can have all the expectations in the world (not saying that’s healthy), but you just don’t say them. It makes for a whole lot of awkwardness. Dating and getting to know each other is supposed to be fun, when the other person starts making you feel bad or puts on the pressure, that’s a path down to the end. You obviously can’t stop this guy from being that way, we never can change people. You tried being up front with him, and he laughed in your face. If that isn’t a sign of lack of respect then I don’t know what is. Had it been me, I would’ve held the STOP sign and told him to go elsewhere to bother another girl. Most relationships that I’ve seen are successful when there’s mutual respect, mutual love, and mutual caring. This guy has total disregard by calling you names, totally ignoring your confrontation, and laughing in your face. If he didn’t respond well to your addressing the issue head to head, then as much as I hate this method, it’s the time for the ‘ignore’ card. Sometimes it’s just not worth it to do the dance in the ring, this time just fake a TKO. Go down and out! And next time, do these exercises in the mirror. Look at yourself, then turn 3 times to your left and 3 times to your right. Now, you just need to apply that when a homeboy tries to come in for a kiss. One, you shouldn’t kiss on the first date if you’re truly looking for a future relationship and two, if you’re not feeling it, don’t kiss the guy. Trust me, there will be PLENT-Y more opportunities to smooch should the guy really like you. And well, if he doesn’t try again, then more chances than not, he was looking for an easy in to a night of fun. I’m all for that if that’s what people wants, but this particular blog is a dating blog. Like they say ‘see ya, wouldn’t wanna be ya’, I think it’s time you end this ‘thing’ you have. You’ll have less crap to deal with and a lighter weight on your shoulders. Have fun and don’t let the mopey heads bring you down!

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One Response to Name calling

  1. Nola Kaper says:

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