Sometimes blood is thinner than water

Q: A few days ago, my brother and I were at a pool hall visiting some friends when we met this new girl. She was new to the area and had just moved here. She was a very confident, exciting, and energetic person. You couldn’t help but feel happy around her. My brother and I were both intrigued by her. She talked equally to both of us. He would ask her one question and I follow with another. She made both of us feel as though we were important. We could tell she was a good girl, she just carried this innocence about her and she was just so darn sweet. I had a girlfriend I had at the time that I had been dating for a year. We were pretty into each other, but I wasn’t married and if I so happened to find a great catch, then why not go for her? And this seemed to be one of the times, I knew my brother was feeling her too, but she wasn’t his. It was ‘may the best man win’. I could tell she was more into my brother, I overheard her drop the hint for wanting to be taken to this upcoming festival that she had never been to. I wasn’t discouraged though, I had always been the one to attract the girls over my brother. I never stole girls from him, but I was the one who won them from the get go. Yeah, maybe he was the taller, better looking one, but I was the one with the charm, wittiness, and smoothness to pretty much get any girl I wanted to go after. I wasn’t going to give up that easily. When it was time to go, we all walked out into the parking lot. My brother and I stood beside her and as we were about to say goodbye, he beat me to it and asked ‘what’s your number, just in case I can take you to the festival’. She looked more than thrilled to give her number to him and as she gave it to us, I pulled out my phone taking it down as well. She looked over at me and smiled, then said ‘Yeah, maybe we can all go out some time.’ And then she looked my way and said ‘Maybe I can take you up on that offer for making dinner sometime’ (I had told her about how I was going to culinary school and it was my passion). She started to walk off and waved goodbye with that cute smile she had. My brother went after her and walked her to her car. Gawd, I thought to myself, I had gotten rusty at the dating game because my brother was lightning fast with the moves. I’d never seen him pull out the moves like that, so I was surprised each time he beat me to it. I stood there waiting for him to walk back. Once he had walked back and she driven off out of earshot, he looked at me and said, ‘BOOYAH’. I gave him daps for that and told him, ‘yo bro, I got her number too.’ He looked at me and laughed. I was determined to get her attention somehow. I’d find a way. A couple of days after that, she called my brother and asked him to go out to a club with her friends. I didn’t find out until he was walking out the door to go meet her. I lifted up my hands in frustration, it was the 3rd time he beat me. I was irritated the whole time until he came back. My girlfriend even called and noticed my irritated mood. I was competitive and I was on the losing end of this one. Once my brother got home the next morning, I probed him asking him what happened. He was always a forthcoming guy, so he told me nothing happened, but they did have a blast. He also raved about what a great, fun girl she was. My irritation flared up again. I walked away, back into my room and sent her a text message. She responded and after a few texts, she asked when she and I were going to hangout. Score! I messaged her that we could meet tomorrow. We scheduled a time and place and that was that. My brother walked into my room and just started up conversation. He talked about how much he really liked what he had saw so far in that girl and wanted to get to know her better. At the back of my mind, I started to question whether I was doing the right thing. Should I go out with her? I’ve never done this to my brother or vice versa. Is this a bad idea?

A: Seriously? Are these real questions? The story got worse and worse the more I read it, but at least you developed a conscious sometime in there. I mean, this your brother, the guy who lives with you, the one who wrestle with, shoot spit wads at, get in trouble with, and fight against. That’s a tie that goes down deeper than I can even describe. Nothing in the world will ever change that, girlfriend/s or not, you’ll always be in each other’s life. But along comes this girl you’ve known for what 5 days, a week at most, and you’re ready to severe that brotherly relationship. I mean, if you were to do this, now at the beginning would be the ideal time. But, you have a girlfriend, mind you, one that you’ve had for a year. You sound willing to throw that away, but as the avid advocate for faithful relationships, I think you have no leg to stand on looking elsewhere. If you’re gonna go for it, have the balls and dump her, then make your move. But, all in all, I think you’re letting your thirst for competition push you farther down this road to pursue this new girl. Your reasons for going after her are not sincere. Yeah, she’s a great girl and she’s new, but what can you offer her? You have a girlfriend. On top of that, she seems to be into your brother this time. Sorry pal, you’re on the losing end on this one. I mean, how bad would that be to go for this girl only to be shot down and risk a rift with your brother. You’ll lose on all fronts, with your brother and with the girl. I mean, she asked HIM first to go out, right. That says a lot. We can’t always have what we want, if we did, it’d be a crazy world. And if we all went to date people just out of pure competition, there’d be a whole lot of pissed off people and not enough love. If you’re unhappy with your current girlfriend, then get back on the market. There’s plenty of girls around if you’re interested, just don’t take the ones that are taken or the ones your brother has. I’m sure had the situation been reversed, your competitive side would come out and you’d be fighting to keep the girl. You win some, and you lose some. And you should lose this one. If it makes you feel any better, tell yourself that you let your brother have her. Hey, it’s part truth, but if it gives you an easier time to walk away, then so be it. If you had happened to be a girl and you were my sister, I would’ve set you straight in the parking lot and stamped ‘LOSER’ on your forehead. Don’t piss in your own backyard! All’s fair in love and war, but some people we’re not supposed to go to war with.

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