Polar opposites

Q: I’ve been dating this girl for 3 months now and things are going great. We workout together, volunteer together, and study together. We even pray together. And she’s also an energtic, fun, and sweet girl. I can talk to her about anything. I’ve been through some tough times with my family and she’s supported and listened to me through it all. We always have a blast watching basketball games together cause she’s just as into it as I am. She even surprised me with tickets for both of us to go to a basketball game. She comes from a good family and is the type of girl you can bring home to your parents. Honestly, there’s nothing wrong with her or our dating relationship. Well, there’s a girl in my class that I had a thing for a couple months and she was only interested in being friends back then. The other day she let me know that she was actually interested in dating me. I knew when she was telling me this that I was still attracted to her, but I wasn’t sure what to do or say. When I liked her before, things were a lot calmer as she’s not as outgoing as the girl I’m dating now. She’s more like me in that sense, but I love the energy of my current girl. She’s also a lot simpler and less maintenance than the girl I’m with, which is also very similar to me. My current girl likes to be fashionable, won’t go out in public without make-up, and looks sexy everywhere we go (even for a sports event). I could be in a t-shirit, hat, and jeans while she’s in a tube top, short shorts and heels. I don’t know if I can sustain a life with her and give her all the clothes, make-up and shoes she wants. My career field isn’t one to be able to support that. But, I do love that about her, she looks hot everywhere we go and I feel proud she’s by my side. My old crush is the kind of girl just to sit back and chill. She’ll wear a t-shirt and shorts without make-up. She’s the girl next door type. I could go on and on about both of them but I just don’t know what to decide. Neither girl knows about the other, what should I do?

A: Sounds like you like 2 polar opposites, both sounds like girls you want, so I feel for you. I’d say do eeny miny mo, but that’s never really worked for me. A nice duel would be entertaining, well for me at least. Or just a good ole modern day catfight, although it sounds like your energetic one may scrap out the eyes of the girl next door. Since none of those last few options will probably do you any good, I say the easiest way is to try to date both of them at the same time. I’m not talking about cheating, I’m talking about letting your current girl know that you still want to date other people. Of course, she doesn’t need to know who exactly it is. But you should also be prepared for her to want to do the same thing or possibly break it off. There are people in this world that want to solely date one person at a time, which is fine, and others who can date more than one. I’m not sure which one you are. But should you break it off with the current one to pursue the other, you run the risk of letting a really good thing go. Like you said, there’s nothing wrong with the current relationship. And if I were a guy, just the fact that she’ll watch sports with you is a huge plus. One big question is what the motivation is for your old crush to now try and pursue you. Sometimes, subconsciously, people go after others when they know they’re no longer available. There is the possibility you go after your old crush only to find that there’s no spark there and her interest wasn’t enough to have a relationship with. Besides, you’ve only known her as a friend, it’s always a different ballgame when a relationship is involved. People do major shifts in their behavior, thinking and expectations once they’re dating someone. Personally, I’d choose one and not look back. Well, there’s a possibility of being with the other one should it not work out. But that’s besides the point, sometimes we have to make a decision and just go with it. You’ve got nothing wrong with what you have now, don’t let a good thing go. And if you need to date both to decide, choose wisely and fast, few get an opportunity to do that.

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