Dating World Series (Part I)


QUESTION:

I really thought I found something special this time, as special as the Rangers being in the World Series for the 2nd time in a row. My best friend and I were walking downtown to a bar to meet some friends when she saw a couple of Navy guys that went to our church. She invited them to go to the bar with us and they agreed. I didn’t pay attention to the guys because from a quick glance I saw they were short, which wasn’t really my type because I have a strict height requirement. It’s just my preference. Anyhow, somehow during the night, I ended up alone with just the shorter guy from Hawaii. I didn’t mind though, the conversation was interesting enough. He was a really sweet, gentle, and caring guy. He reminded me of my dad who had just passed months before, so it was special because I had never met a guy like that. We flirted, held hands, and enjoyed each other’s company. At the end of the night, he walked away without asking for my number. I was disappointed and mentioned it to my friend who pointed out that maybe he’s a nice guy and just didn’t want to ask upon first meeting. I shrugged it off and didn’t think about it. The next day I saw him at church and he briefly talked to me afterwards before he had to run. It wasn’t a big deal, so I just blew it off. The next week I saw him at church, he gave me his number. We started messaging each other all the time after that. I started to talk about my dad and then apologized for talking about him so much and he told me it was okay to keep talking about it. And that he understood because he thought the world of his dad too. He was so polite to me, apologizing when he didn’t text right back, explaining to me he was talking to his dad or helping his mom. He was so unbelievably sweet, I almost melted. He says he’s in Navy school until 11 every night and has duty on the upcoming Saturday, so we didn’t plan on going out til next week. I’ve heard that if the guy doesn’t set up a date within the first 3 days of meeting, they’re not interested. Should I go by this rule? And this guy seems to good to be true, does he sound legit?

A: First off, dating ‘rules’ are more like dating guidelines not so much hard and fast rules. And with that, there’s always exceptions to the rule. Apparently this guy’s time is minimal due to his school. That is, if he really is going to school that late, I’ve never been to Navy school but it sounds suspect. I’d question that one and find out if that’s really the truth. He did schedule a date with you, not within the 3 day window. But at least within those first 3 days, he SCHEDULED one with you. Although I’m curious as to why he wouldn’t be able to fit an hour here or there for coffee or lunch. Again, another issue to be wary of and question. I’d say he’s at the medium interest level for you (you never did know there was such a thing as a interest level gauge, did ya, well now you know it exists). The guy’s in touch but not bending over backward to spend time with you. At the rate you’re going that may be about 2-3 dates a month. I don’t know about you but my intimacy factor needs a higher number than that. As far as knowing if this guy is genuine, there’s only so much you can know about a person via writing. Also with that, is the fact that you can’t always go by what someone says they’re about. Some people truly have a different view of themselves from what they say and what they do. These people aren’t lying, they just have a real different sense of who they are and that’s what they really believe. Time and time again, I tell people that our potential people of interest are always on their best behavior upon first meeting someone. We’re all guilty of it, especially when we like someone. We want them to see the best sides of us and none of the bad. In fact, if we had our way, we’d convince you that we have NO bad sides. But we’re all human and as so, all with faults. The only thing that tells you whether a person is genuine is time. There’s no rushing it, even married couples spend their lifetime getting to know each other. It’s no different when starting out and dating. And until you see homeboy helping his mom and dad, I’d be wary of the ‘good son’ card and let him prove it. It is way way way too soon for you to be melting. Sweetness can be deceiving too. Some people know just what to say to be smooth. It may not be so much about how much they like and care for you but it’s more about their ability to just be charming. I smell just too many red flags with this one to really give you a green light. I mean there’s the late night school, the good son issue, and the fact that he’s scheduling the date so far out. It may be fun to pursue, but it doesn’t sound like anything to go crazy over. Once he’s proven himself in action and not word, then he’s earned a right to be trusted. If you’re curious, then go ahead with that first date. You may find you don’t even like the guy. But if you’re looking for more, I’d say drop this cat and let him go to school. Apparently he doesn’t have much time and well, for now you’re not priority enough to fit in this week. And I never give someone the benefit of the doubt, if they’re being sweet to you, they’ll surely possibly being sweet to someone else. Not having time sometimes may mean they already have a list of candidates in the queue. The Rangers got to the World Series through hard work, don’t classify him as the same. He hasn’t even started the season with you much less played a game or had a winning season. Batter up Navy boy, you’ve got a lot to prove!

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One Response to Dating World Series (Part I)

  1. Pingback: Dating World Series (Part II) « smalltowndating

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