Dating World Series (Part III)


Special multiple series posts, original part I can be found at: https://smalltowndating.wordpress.com/2011/10/29/dating-world-series-part-i/   Part II can be found at:  :  https://smalltowndating.wordpress.com/2011/10/29/dating-world-series-part-ii/

QUESTION:

Yeah, me again, yes me for the 3rd time! I’m clueless and confused. I should just hire you as my own personal ‘Hitch’. I know I didn’t listen the last 2 times, but I swear I’ll listen this time!! Well, not so much that I didn’t listen last time but the fact that the unexpected happened. I did like you said, just chose to let the guy go, ignore him, and move on. Well, I did for at least 2 days, then on Friday afternoon, I pulled up the website for the club we were going to that night to check what the cover charge was for the Halloween party. My jaw dropped when, as I was texting, out of the corner of my eye, I saw a picture scroll by of my baby cousin (not baby but 21–barely old enough to drink) and Navy school boy. I pulled the picture back up again and I mouthed ‘holy shit’ when I looked at it again. I texted my cousin asking her about the picture and the guy, describing him to her as she mentioned she met a bunch of guys that night. Then she told me exactly what I didn’t want to hear, that he was in the Navy and was from Hawaii, and I knew it was him. I thought to myself, ‘crap, wtf happened’. He had texted her that night (so much for the slow paced guy I thought he was) and invited her to go on his boat. And he had said that her tail from her devil costume had ‘gotten in his way’. This whole time I thought I was dealing with a guy who was just slow paced, was a faithful Christian, busy with school, and sweet as can be. This guy was the same as the others before him–obviously trying to impress my cousin, hook up with my cousin, and at that, a guy looking to hook up with a 21 yr old. I was crushed and pissed. I had at least considered this guy a friend and someone very honest and respectable that I could trust. He was obviously not who I thought he was. He obviously had some free time from school and could make the time to go out, but not the time to reply to my message asking what we were about. I uttered so many cuss words. I am a pretty patient person and not insanely competitive. But at that moment, this incident combined with our seesaw of a dramatic loss in Game 6 to the Cards caused me to scream out, ‘I hope our Rangers kick their $&@’. It was on, I did want his Cards to win because I actually cared about the guy but now I didn’t give a damn. Of course, we ended up losing and for me, it was an even bigger loss because I had 2 big losses that day–the game and loss of faith in what I thought was a good guy. After some debate, I decided to send him a message and let him know he wasn’t that slick. He had ignored me and was then chasing after my cousin like a dog in heat, with the rate he was moving. The guy who I thought reminded me of my dad was someone else I had no idea about. My text said, ‘You know what, I don’t know who you are or what you’re about. Obviously, you’re not the person I thought you were. But, you got my COUSIN’S number last night. Yeah, the one you’ve been text messaging and inviting on your boat is my cousin. You should know better than to leave a person high and dry, ignoring them. It’s not nice. And no, you don’t get to diss me to go after my cousin. The world doesn’t work like that. So, go and play your games elsewhere. It’s not gonna work this time.’ He didn’t reply right away, but the next day he said, ‘For some reason I just got your fb message right now. I was going to text you today too. To say something like we should just be friends like I’m just not interested in that way. I wanted to text it earlier this week, but I didn’t have much time before class the past days and I didn’t want to rush it and say the wrong thing.’ Should I be friends with this guy? I don’t know what to believe him anymore. What should I do?

ANSWER:

Girl, trust me, this is dating, the unexpected always happens! Although the chances of what happened to you are fairly small. Your town must be a really small town and on top of that the Internet does wonders. Maybe the World Series was at 3-2, but right now you’re 0-2, not a very good place to be. Surprisingly, unlike life, you may have 4 total chances to win out in baseball, but you’ve already lost 2 in this dating game series. But I give you a high five for how you approached and confronted him. Most people would’ve came from an angry place and said things that were less rational and more emotional than what you did. I would’ve gone running had I gotten a text like that. It’s always good to keep on a rational, level head when you’re in the dating game, too many people let themselves get carried away. And the guy hardly did it on purpose as I’m sure he didn’t know you two were related. And, my guess is that your cousin will not hear from him again, he seems to have a little more class than that. But oh man, my advice has not changed on this one, leave this cat now. I mean drop it and back away. I wouldn’t even friend the guy, his message is loaded with tons of excuses and doesn’t explain his shady behavior. Apparently he’s known for a little while that he didn’t want more, but he’s just now telling you that when you’re calling him out on hitting on your cousin. I mean, this guy’s respectable and has balls to reply back after such an embarassing situation, but you barely know him, your life will be fine without him. Otherwise, you risk adding more confusion into your life by keeping him around. This guy is making it clear, he’s not wanting what you want. Although he reminds you of your dad, he’s not, you barely know the guy. You most certainly are following after your Rangers with a huge loss in your dating world series. Girl, there is someone out there for you, obviously this guy isn’t and as far as being ‘friends’ like he suggests, I wouldn’t even give him that. He led you on, is 180 degrees different from the good ole boy he portrayed to you. Who knows what else he can misrepresent and with your heart on the line, it’ll be easy to fall into a trap with him in friends mode. Shady, shady, shady, and when I see shady, I leave that tree I’m under and go for sunlight and open fields–the truth. I make it a point to make sure I’m not around shady people for 1) you can’t trust them and for 2) shady attracts shady and you’ll find yourself meeting other shady cats from his life. You gave this guy a huge leap of faith, trusting him so soon and even putting him up to the level of your dad when he hadn’t proved himself. Do yourself a favor next time, and slow it down, just go with the flow without expecting so much. I have an awesome dad and he’s been my dad my whole life, but he’s had well over 20+ years to prove himself. No man can prove that to you in a matter of weeks. This is the stuff that takes time. Love and dating are never easy and can’t be rushed. Don’t put it all on the line, every time you trust someone, and especially when you trust them so soon, you gamble. Sometimes you get lucky and trust the right one, and other times you’re not so unlucky and trust the wrong one. Our love lives are too precious to gamble with. I say dating’s a game, but don’t throw it all away like your Rangers did Game 7. You gotta go the whole season, let the boys come up to bat, if they strike out, let them go, but don’t give them 4 balls and let them walk. That’s too easy, and you (as well as any other guy/girl) are worth more than that. Pace yourself. I hope that if I hear from you on a part 4 question, that it’s about another guy you’re happily in a relationship with, this guy’s taken enough time of yours. Like I said before, give the guy some peanuts and cracker jacks, let him sit down, and take him out of your game in this dating world series. It’s time. Now, can I have some cotton candy and a hot dog?

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2 Responses to Dating World Series (Part III)

  1. birdie says:

    I like this story..its a lesson.learn

    • Thank you! That’s our mission at STD, the only good STD you want. Spread it–spread the knowledge and experience of others in dating who’ve been there and done that. It’s always nice having a second voice when it comes to dating. Actually, we even recommend having your own team or ‘board of directors’ as we like to call it. The folks who you confide in and will objectively help you navigate your way in the dating life. Happy dating!

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