But I Thought It was a Frog

Q: Hindsight is always 20/20. How could I be so blind to what a great guy I was letting go of 10 yrs ago. We were young when we first met, I had just gotten out of college and moved out of state. I was at a prime in my dating life, guys were flocking to me like I couldn’t believe. Part of me still couldn’t believe these guys really liked me. I happened to snatch one up for a casual relationship that was easy, convenient, and a huge attraction. In some ways, he was my prize as good looking as he was. He really probably could’ve been a model if he had the confidence. But, anyhow, we dated other people, it was understood. I toyed with meeting guys here and there, but nothing ever really stuck. Well, this was one time I wish it would’ve stuck. I hung out with a bunch of dj’s with one in particular that liked me. I wasn’t attracted to him, but he seemed to be pretty interested in me. I had somehow intrigued these guys as new meat that had moved in from out of state. Then, I met the most awesome guy I know to this day (of course, I didn’t know it back then) but he came at me full force. He was younger than me, but he was aggressive and wasn’t ashamed to show how into me he was. Well, one night at our friend’s, I sat there on the couch with the 2 guys who liked me, dj boy and awesome boy. I sat there while they both tried to put their arm around me or be affectionate. It really was kind of awkward and funny at the same time. It never ceases to surprise me how competitive guys. The night ended with me luckily getting out of there alive and in one piece ALONE. I wasn’t into either guy. I had my model prize that somehow always stuck around, so I was happy. Mr. Awesome kept calling me and talking about how awesome he thought I was as being so smart, independent, good-hearted and beautiful. I just was never into guys who paid a lot of attention to me like that, it scared me off. As twisted as it may sound, I liked the guys who didn’t call me beautiful or that called me everyday. I just didn’t want devotion. Even so, I agreed to go out with him one night and I’ll never forget the details of that night. He picked me up, I could tell the excitement he had that we were finally going out together. We went and had dinner, talked a bunch. And I knew the whole time he dug everything about me. On the way out the door, we stopped at the crawling machine or whatever it is, and he got me a frog. But, that was that, and I never let it go further. Fast forward to last year and we got back in touch. I had a kid now with Mr. Model who was no longer in the picture at all, but having a kid was enough to kill any attraction he could’ve had for me. We got closer, and I saw it in him through the last year. I saw how determined he was, kind, humble, silent leader, giving, easy going, and smart. I had to move back home because I lost my job and he gave me a few hundred dollars for movers, with no expectations of anything. We stay in touch and text all the time. He is always there whenever I need. My best friend and I were going to make a trip back there to visit and we were going to stay with him. I joked around with him that we were going to sleep in the bed with him. He told me no, he was going to sleep on the couch. When I questioned that other guys would’ve taken that offer, he replied that he was not any other guy. All these little things about his character have finally tallied up for me to see how wonderful he was, how I gave up what could’ve been real love for a superficial love. I was now without model boy, had his kid, and without Mr. Awesome. What do I do? I’m going nuts!! How could I have been so dumb back then? Do I have any hope?

A: Awwwww. I am always saddened by stories of lost love. It always tugs at my heart. It’s just sad to have lost chances, lost hope, and maybe the best thing you have ever had in your life. It’s sad. I feel your pain. Sorry sister, but sometimes we don’t make the wisest decisions. Unlike takebacks in the punch buggy game, we don’t get takebacks in real life. But, like I do in my own life, I try to always look forward, not live with regret, and learn from my mistakes, which means for you, that you need to make some changes on the guys you’re going after. Sort of a paradigm shift. What you thought worked before isn’t what’s going to work for you, unless you want to continue to attract more bad seeds. But man, are you sure this guy is real? I’m picturing Prince Charming on a white horse and last time I checked those were called ‘FAIRY TALES’ and not ‘REAL LIFE’. I don’t know, I guess if I believed in fairies, I might believe there’s a guy like that out there. But, hey, there are gems out there and you just may have one slip out of your hands. There’s a few reasons you need to step off the clouds and face up to reality, 1) you live out of state, 2) you have a kid and that doesn’t fly on his radar, and 3) there’s no guarantee he’ll reciprocate the same feelings. Chalk it up as a loss girlfriend, but don’t lose the lesson. Sometimes there really are good things that cross our paths. Sometimes the man profession his love and showing his dedication is as genuine as they come. But, hey, in our younger years, we’re not all wise and we go for things like model boy. It’s exciting, fun, and at the time you think you’re just living it up, what does it matter. But our lives aren’t just for thrills, sometimes you have to be forward looking to just having love. Simple as that, love isn’t always with a model boy and a lot of times it does show itself in cheesy ways. Cheesy ways like having a guy win you a frog. Learn it sister, otherwise you’re bound to repeat it. Devotion is real, love is real, and you’ll only get it if you be real and open your heart. Sometimes the very thing you think is a frog truly is Prince Charming waiting for your simple kiss.

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