‘Pimping’ Lines and Awkward Happenings (Part II)

Let’s face it, sometime the lines people use in the dating game are just downright silly. I don’t know if they get it out of a pickup line dating book or they have their top 5, but some of us are not dumb enough to believe them. Instead we may use them as funny stories to share with friends and giggle about. Here’s some we’ve heard this week:

** I just met you an hour ago here in New Orleans, but if I fly you to Chicago, will you visit me? **
“Errr, um, well, uh, do I really have to answer this one?” That would be my response. Was that a trick question? If you’re just trying to score brownie points and are just looking to hook up, just say so dude/dudette (whichever they are, I don’t know). Take a chance and you might just get it, but then again, you may get the ‘he^& no’ response. “But, um, no thank you, I’m not in the mood to get hacked up, I don’t even know you.” Not happening.

** I promise….. ** (just met)
Yeah, well, I guess the …… means you don’t care to share what this particular promise is. I can only imagine, trust me, I’ve heard plen-ty of promises. I wouldn’t even call them broken promises because they weren’t even real in the first place. I’d prefer to say ‘weak attempts’ at a promise. C’mon people, really. I just met you and you’re promising the moon, the stars, or maybe just a moon pie. How bout you just say we’ll see each other one more time and we’ll go from there? I’m surprised how gullible or dumb, people mistake others for. I mean, I’m gullible, but really? How about the truth? Like, ‘I promise I won’t text you back if I’m not interested’, ‘I promise I’ll ignore you when I’m done with you’, or ‘I promise I don’t know what I’m promising’. I like the last one, that would in fact be the truth. And don’t even start bringing out the Bible…that’s just a whole nother level.

** I’m 25 years old, just kidding, I’m 30 ** (just met)
I’m dumb, just kidding, I’m not. Sound like someone is confused. If you’re going to lie the first time I meet you then at least carry the lie through the whole night. I mean, lying for a minute is just not even worth it. Unless, maybe you had a slipped thought and really believe you had gained 5 years back. Errr, not happening. Lie in the first few hours and you’re just trouble. Honesty through and through. I mean, you wouldn’t want me lying after we hook up and say I’m 17? Now, that would just be wrong. But, a lie is a lie, so it’s all the same thing.

** I’ve cheated on all my girlfriends ** (after 2 months together)
Tell me you’re not serious you heard this come from his mouth! Wow, talk about foot in mouth. Buddy, time to remove foot from mouth. I mean, I know there’s self disclosure, but there’s there’s total self disclosure. It’s only been 2 months, there’s not need to go with the total self version. I know some people say once a cheater always a cheater, but I give people the benefit of the doubt. Some people wise up and learn their lesson and then there’s those that just don’t. Well, just ride it out buddy, let it go, I’m sure he probably ruined his chances with you, but if he wants you bad enough, he won’t do it. But, people, I did say don’t lie, but I didn’t say vomit your life story. Keep it wise.

I don’t know where people get this stuff from. I’m sure I’m guilty of saying some pretty dumb things to my datees. Yeah, 100% without a doubt I have. But, stop, drop, and roll that thought before it pops out your mouth. The world will be a better place. Don’t forget it: stop, drop, and roll!

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