Faithful to DC

QUESTION:

I was recently at a bar and a girl approached me to hook me up with her friend. The friend started talking to my friend. And she and I looked at each other puzzled. I ended up talking to a cougar most of the night, so that’s all I heard from the ‘wingwoman’. I don’t approach girls in bars as that’s not my thing. Later on in the parking lot, I ran into the wingwoman again and the horny, drunk guy in me took over. I gave her my number, I gave her a kiss and asked her where the after party was. She looked at me strangely and I got a sense that hooking up on the first night was not her thing. She told me, ‘I’m going home’ and we’ll talk tomorrow. I messaged her later asking her to come over to my house an hour away but she was firm. She said we could meet up tomorrow and I agreed. I passed out and that was the end of the night. The next day she messaged me and we started planning to meet up. I told her I was moving back to DC and was only here for a month and a half for a work gig as a flight instructor. She pointed out I didn’t mention that last night and well, I didn’t want to because I didn’t want to ruin my chances with her. But now I was sober and being the good guy I am, I was honest about that. We agreed that we should have some fun before I left. She was a cool, down to earth girl, and neither one of us really did this kinda thing. So, it seemed exciting and we started trying to make plans. I told her that she couldn’t come over because I had coworkers as roommates. Coming over after they sleep wasn’t an option as one was still out that night. I didn’t tell her it was really because my roommates knew the girl I was dating before I left DC. I planned to be with her when I came back, so I didn’t want to ruin my chances. She lived with her parents so that wasn’t an option. We talked about outdoors on the beach but I didn’t want to go to jail. I had to work the next day so we agreed to meet the next day. The next day we talked, she mentioned her friend offered her place up for her to use during work hours. That wouldn’t work because I didn’t get off work in time. I had some time the next day, so I rearranged my schedule and made some time for her. Now I’m having second thoughts and not sure if I go through with this. I will practically have a girlfriend when I get back to DC. Should I take advantage of this opportunity? Am I making a mistake if I don’t? I feel like I’m cheating, am I?

ANSWER:

Am I really getting a question from a guy on whether he should hit it or not? This would be a first. It does sound quite exciting and a once in a lifetime kinda opportunity. The kind that’s similar to the feeling of sex in a foreign country or vacation, because that’s really what it is if you’re just visiting there in such a short time. But, we all aren’t built to just listen to our loins all the time. And although you’re not officially with the girl in DC, you might as well be with the guilty conscience you have. There is such a thing as being faithful nowadays and I applaud you for being cognizant enough to take your time deciding. There’s 2 ways to look at this, 1) you’ll have your fun but with time, your memory of it will eventually fade, is it worth it? Two is, do you want this to become the sort of behavior and lifestyle you want to adopt for yourself? First experiences are fun, but they don’t always end at the first time. You are in a sense opening Pandora’s box. Should you do this one time and you know you have the girl in DC, what’s gonna stop you next time when she is your girlfriend? Titles are just that, titles. If your heart is with someone, title or not, your heart is still with them. And that sounds like what the case is now. You won’t bring her around your roommates, so obviously, part of you is concerned more about your future girl than with you living in the moment. And frankly, when life hands us so many challenges to obtaining something, it’s usually a sign that we probably shouldn’t have that. I think I counted like at least 5 hurdles to the execution of your fling. You’re on the right road questioning it, now make your decision final on where you’re headed on that road and close this out. Besides, who knows, the sex may be a flop and disappointment. Who ever wants that? Tighten up your boot straps and hold that desire in. You’ll be seeing that future girlfriend soon enough and you can have that celebratory coming home sex marathon! Now, that, I’m sure will not disappoint you. So, go forward with anticipation of your next chapter, be proud of yourself that you say not to the cotton candy in your hand that so many would’ve not denied, and good luck to you in DC. Next time, when you are (which I’m sure you will have a girlfriend) go to a bar, you may want to be careful of both getting that drunk or even getting a girl’s number. Either and both of these wouldn’t have put you in such a dilemma to fail.

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