Men in Relationships: Points to Consider

Women, more time than not, want a real relationship, which takes a real man. But how do you find that guy? Read on as Aubrey gives us tips.

What to Consider in Men and Relationships:

Over the past 5 years, I have been on numerous dates, had several boyfriends, and have even been in a serious long term relationship. In all my experiences, I have never met a man whose personality, values, and beliefs make me want to start or even stay in a relationship with him. Since I am a very analytical person, I tend to analyze everything, including men. I wonder, at times, if I am being too harsh or just need to give the guy a chance. However, I have been burned too many times to just settle for anything less than I deserve. I believe any woman, including myself, deserves a man that they can love for who he is and what he stands for.

How do you get what you want in a relationship?

1. Non-Negotiables. Figure out what you want from that perfect man and relationship, then make a list of non-negotiable qualities. When you have a list, it will be easier to stick too. It’s especially important especially when you are blinded by love and lust. It’s not wise to begin a relationship if you don’t know what you want, which is why this is a very important step. And don’t let love blind you. If there is a non-negotiable that he does not meet, it is wise to end the relationship.

2. Warning Signs. Warning signs could possibly be a sign of what’s to come if you do not take them seriously. Look for warning signs from the beginning. Examples of some warning signs could be: he has a controlling attitude, has anger issues (i.e. fights at bars or has been in jail for this type of behavior), is disrespectful to you or women in general, or no compassion or empathy toward others.

3. Important Cons. Determine what a true con is before you start dating. A con could be that he is a messy person, but not that he wears glasses. Always remember when deciding cons, that no one is perfect. It’s also important to remember there are more important than physical attributes. Physical attributes are important but if there no attraction, physical attributes should not be what makes or breaks a relationship.

4. Love and Attraction. A guy may meet all your non-negotiables. But they still may not be the person for you, attraction and love still have to be there. You could find a person who has what you want, but without attraction, the relationship will not work.

5. Falling in love. Don’t be afraid of falling in love. The only way of truly knowing someone is to completely commit to getting to know them. Having fear of falling in love in a relationship can keep you from really finding that perfect one for you. When you let go, and the guy does likewise, great things can happen.

Before getting into a relationship, you need to be prepared in a few ways. You need to know what you’re looking for and what you won’t stand for. Ranking your cons can help you realize which negatives you can live with. These lists are helpful. But it’s always important to consider love and attraction. These are very important sparks to be there for anything to begin or continue. Lastly, don’t be afraid to fall, when you let yourself go, you can open yourself up to the possibility of that perfect man and relationship.

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