Safe Sex in Relationships

20120703-124148.jpg

QUESTION:

I’m a pretty safe person for the most part. I don’t drive in bad neighborhoods, I drive safely, I don’t swim too far out in the ocean, and I’m very safe when it comes to dating and sex. Eventually, we all meet someone though who we trust, and when we meet them we let our standards slip because we trust the person.

I just met this amazing person. I trust him, I definitely like him, and can see a future with him. However, we just recently began a physical relationship. We had not talked about birth control at all beforehand, so he had no clue if I was on anything. I don’t assume a guy is going to protect me from pregnancy and STD’s i know that I have to be the one looking out for myself. However, we all have those moments when we let our guard down and assume.

I assumed that he was going to be careful and use some form of birth control when we first hooked up and he did not. I could not tell until afterward and I was like “oh my god! I can’t believe you did that.” I made sure to take plan b to prevent pregnancy, but I’m still concerned about his actions. Should I be concerned?

I really like him, but if this is something that he obviously doesn’t care about does that mean he wants a child? Hopefully not, because it is way to early to even think about a child. Do you think that he just doesn’t care about me and was just doing what felt good to him? Or do you think that maybe he just assumed I was on something? When I confronted him his response was just that basically he was sorry but couldn’t control himself?!? Help!

JOHNNY:

Before I get too in depth about your dilemma, I want to correct you on something. Your standards don’t slip when you meet someone that you trust, you simply let your guard down. The difference between these two things is that when your ‘standards slip’ that means you lower your standards and make excuses to be with someone that doesn’t deserve your time and feelings. When you let your guard down and open up to someone, it means that they have already met some of your standards because you have began engaging in some sort of friendship/relationship.

Letting your guard down like this is perfectly acceptable. For the record, I knew what you meant though, but felt that I wanted to express that there is a huge difference between the two because trust is established before your guard is let down. When you lower your standards, you don’t even consider trust in the equation.

Anyhow, on to more important fish to fry. Being in a physical relationship is important for a ton of reasons. It means you have more of an attraction for your significant other and you have chosen to take it to the next level. While this may not be a big deal for some, it is huge for others and in your particular case. It sounds like you and your partner were both ready for this step. It is always a good idea to protect yourself because no matter how much you trust someone, you can’t always assume they have your best interests in mind.

When you are in the heat of the moment, I know it goes without being said that the best way to prevent pregnancy is to use condoms. No matter what, he should not assume that you are on something. This is something that is his responsibility to ask and your responsibility to tell before you ever engage in sex! I know that people often go without using condoms, which is totally your own choice, but it also comes with those risks of pregnancy and STD’s. For your case, the fact that he didn’t “prepare” for the ending result by getting his timing right is a little troublesome. It’s not rocket science to figure out when it is approaching and how to avoid that issue. However, in some cases, it totally catches you off guard and literally sneaks up on you. No way for me to tell which is the case here, but I’ll try to offer incite.

The fact that he said he couldn’t control himself sounds like he might be inexperienced with having sex without a condom. Unfortunately for some guys, the first few times without a rubber can be difficult to determine when you are getting close and when it’s too late. The best way to remedy this without it happening again is to either slow down and not be as physical in your relationship until you have established ground rules or just make him wear the rubber.

Either way, if you aren’t wishing to have a child at this point in your life, these are the two best options. There are still plenty of other ways to have intimacy without sex (I can’t believe I actually said this). I’m sure if you were to sit down with him and explain that you are concerned about getting pregnant from “accidents” that he will definitely either try harder to prevent it, or just be smart and rubber up. It is not wrong of you to be concerned because the results are literally life-altering; and if you aren’t ready for the consequences then it makes it even more of a difficult issue to handle.

Unfortunately, I don’t have any other words of wisdom except that you have to always be thinking about yourself; especially since you are a woman. Unless you are married, it is a good idea to always be on your toes because like you said you can’t depend on others to always be protecting you. You always have to have your best interests at heart. If he doesn’t want to hear what you have to say about being safe, it is a good idea to probably leave the relationship because it shows lack of compassion, trust, and general respect for a person. Hope this helps!

EDITOR’S NOTE: We always recommend the use of birth control to prevent the spread of STD’s and unplanned pregnancy. Prevention is the responsibility of both sexes, so we encourage girls to carry condoms along for casual sex and some form of birth control. Sex can be a very great bonding experience when the right precautions are taken. We are firm believers the best pathway to parenthood is through marriage. We know that doesn’t always happen, so we would never think negatively on any single parent for being one. Happy sex and safe days.

Advertisements

Random Q & A (Part XII)

QUESTION

friends with benefits, friendship, friendships, fwb, boundaries, respect, my boyMy girlfriend of 4 months feels like we are becoming best friends. She said she can act herself around me and talk to me about anything. What does this mean?

ARIANA:

STOP! Don’t be her girlfriend!  Girlfriends listen to everything they have to say, that’s not a boyfriend’s job. Either of 2 things will happen if you continue: 1) you will become friends or 2) she will become dependent on you listenening to her every problem and issues, whereas she should be able to handle issues on her own. She’ll get upset if you don’t listen to gossip about her friends, every work issue, etc.  Tell you her you support her and listen to her, but there’s some things that would be more helpful if she talks to a friend!

QUESTION:

What can a girl do to make sure her man feels secure? The guy I’m dating has said he doesn’t feel like I got his back (we had our friends have drama go down when we went out one night and he was trying to help resolve it). Then today he wanted to hear me reassure him that I’m only with him. What can I do so that he feels confident in how I feel?

ARIANA:

Just be you. You can try and reassure someone all day till your face is blue but it solely depends on that individual to realize your dedication, commitment, and loyalty to them. So as long as your actions mirror your words and in your heart you know your loyalty lies with him everything else should fall into place.

QUESTION:

My boy  is dating this girl he met.  Her cousin and I kinda hit it off, hooked up the first night.  We’ve been talking on and off for the last few months.  We do double dates every now and then.  But, we talked about it and she understands we’re just friends with benefits.  I like her company but neither of us are looking for more.   One night she invites me to go out, so we can hang wiwth her cousin and my boy.  I thought it was cool, but then when I got there she started flirting with every dude.  Yet when I started talking to girls, even a table full of girls, she got upset.  Then she told me we could still be friends with benefits at the end of the night.  There’s no way at the end of the night that I’m going to hit it if she’s been flirting with guys all night and been inconsiderate when she invited me out.  What’s her deal?   

ARIANA:

Sounds like you ‘friends’ need to have a discussion (if it’s not over already, seems to be a whole lot of drama for a fwb relationship) about each of your expectations out of this ‘friends with benefits’ relationships.  Misunderstands and drama happen when the boundaries aren’t defined.  Also, the key word here is ‘friends’, so that means you should be able to talk and respect each other. 

Yes, if she invited you to hang out, then she should be focused on you and not flirting with guys.  You’re not leftovers and shouldn’t be treated as such.  You shouldn’t allow yourself to be disrespected like that.  But by the same token, games don’t show respect either.  As hard and tempting as it may be, as soon as you saw her talk to a guy, it would’ve been best to pull her aside and clear the air. 

This is exactly why friends with benefits is tough to continue, because you have that element of friendship where it canboundaries, respect, drama, secure cause drama when boundaries start to blur.  Even if this one’s not wrecked, remember for next time that first and foremost, you should set the rules clearly and touch on as many points that need to be addressed.  And, a ‘safe word’ is always helpful in communication, in this case, it would be when someone is starting to develop more than fwb feelings.  Good luck.  That’s a whole lot of effort to get some, but what do I know, I haven’t had a man since the last election!

Posted using Tinydesk Writer iPhone app

Money Issues in Dating

QUESTION:
So I have been dating this guy for a few weeks now and was wondering when we should start sharing in our entertainment expenses? He always wants to go out and do things but unfortunately I am not as financially stable as he is. I feel bad when he is always paying for everything but I really am not in a position to waste money on things that are not important like going to the movies and out to eat. How do I let him know this in a tactful way?

(Rea, Seattle, WA)

AUBREY:

Good question Rea, it sounds like the guy you have been seeing is financially stable and enjoys taking you out. If he did not have the money, then I’m sure he would suggest that you both eat at home or rent a movie instead. The best way to approach him about this, is to be completely honest with him. Yes, it may be a little embarrassing to go into details about your finances with him. But in the long run, he will appreciate that you are being honest. If you have not yet offered to pay, he could possibly feel used and that is no way to begin a relationship.

Let him know first off about your feelings for him, then let him know you appreciate that he always takes you out. I would tell him that you love spending time together no matter what you do. And let him know, he doesn’t always have to spend money taking you out. Let him know that you do feel guilty that you can’t take him out because of your financial situation. It may be good to drop some figures like your salary or that $5000 school loan.

Let him know your long-term goals, so that he knows why you can’t spend on unnecessary things. For example you could say, “I would like to have $2000 saved by the end of the year, so that I can go back to school. That’s why I can’t spend $50 on a concert ticket.” It would be a good idea to do inexpensive things for him to show you care. You could bake him his favorite cookie, set up a room with candles, soft music, give him a massage, or cook him dinner. The most important thing is to let him know that regardless of what you do, you love to be with him and that you care about him.

Every relationship is different. Some men would never let a woman pay, while other men have a more modern view. Always be honest with your significant other about important issues such as finances, especially if you are unable to contribute much financially to a relationship.

Baby Daddy or Husband

Most couples like to enjoy themselves every now and then with physical intimacy.  It is the highest expression of your desire for another person.  But what happens when the unplanned happens and you have to face the consequences after?  Read on.

QUESTION:

I’ve been dating this guy for 4 months and I feel really strongly about him, more than any other guy before him.  He’s a real gentleman, always makes me feel safe, and truly cares for me.  He does things for me that I never imagined in a dateable guy.  He encourages me, inspires me, and is always humbly leading us, taking care of everything.  We’ve had a wonderful time dating this entire time and started being intimate last month.  Well, now we’re dealing with an unplanned pregnancy.  I already have a 3 yr old from another baby daddy, and I am embarassed as hell that I will have another baby daddy.  I truly care for him and I think he’s planning to propose next month during Christmas vacation when I visit my parents.  It’s just my gut feel.  I thought I could marry him, but then I’m scared of a ton of marriage issues.  What if he cheats on me?  Will we be financially okay?  How will he treat my 3 yr old?  How will my 3 yr old react?  He’s in the Army, so what happens when he deploys?  Will he agree with my ways of parenting?  Will I be able to run a domestic household?  I really love and care for him, but I’m scared to take that jump to marriage.  The baby daddy of my last child was horrible and did nothing for us, I was left to be mother, provider, working mom, and dad all in one.  He tells me ,he will ‘do right by me’ ,and be my side, but how do I know for sure.  Part of me just doesn’t want to get married because I’m so scared.  But, I know he’s husband material.  I’m not sure whether I want him as a baby daddy or a husband?  How do I know?  Is this natural to be this scared?  If I’m so afraid of the consequences, should I have be physically intimate with him?  What’s the best thing to do?

SLICK RICK:

To start this off, all I can say is WOW!!!  For once in my life, I have encountered an issue that required me to put a hand over my mouth, shake my head, take a deep breath and say holy crap!  Not to worry though, Slick Rick at your service.

There is a lot of emotions and scenarios involved in your situation. It has only been four months since you and your boyfriend have been together, so while it may “seem like you have known each other forever”, it is still a short amount of time. I do have some questions for you though. First, does he know about your 3 year old and the whole “other baby daddy” situation? I know it can be difficult introducing your child to a new man, especially if it doesn’t seem to be working out with him (although from the way it sounds you two are working out wonderfully). Having to continuously introduce a child to different men can become confusing and create unstability within the household; so if you haven’t introduced the two, then I completely understand your logic behind it. Second, does your boyfriend know that you are pregnant yet?  If he does, then at least he is briefed on the fact that he is about to become a father and it won’t be a total shock.  If he does not know, it would be in your best interest to inform him IMMEDIATELY.  As a man, we don’t like for bombs to be dropped in our laps at the last minute. The sooner he knows your are pregnant, the better for both of you and for numerous issues such as stress, anxiety, fear, etc…Third, why does your gut tell you he is going to propose? Has marriage even come up in discussions? I’m not knocking your ‘gut feelings’ because I get those too.  I’m just trying to understand your logic and where that idea is coming from. Four, have you met his parents, particularly his father? Not all the time, but a fair amount of the time you can gather an idea about how your guy is going to be as a husband/father based on his parents and how he is raised. Remember, this is not with EVERYONE.  Also, I hear this quite often from many women I come in contact with, (especially my girlfriend) that they only see themselves marrying someone that reminds them of THEIR OWN father. Now I’m not sure how your father is, but if he is a great man, then perhaps you could use him as a guide to judging your own man. Five, what is your living situation? Do you live together? Do you have a job as well? Do you guys both help each other pay the bills or is it ‘every man/woman for themselves’?

I know these questions may seemall over the map and random, but they each have significance in your situation. You said that he is a great guy, always encouraging you, taking care of everything, etc.  It sounds like he is a heck of a guy right off the bat.  Being in the military also helps weed out the “asshole” portion of him a lot, because the military tries to grooms assholes into intelligent, hard-working men (although that’s not always the case). It doesn’t work for all, but for many, it seems to do the trick. You also have to keep in mind, it is a good idea to remember that your last “baby daddy” was too immature to be a father, but you can’t judge your current man based on another man’s mistakes. You are with this guy for a reason, so be sure not to punish him based off of a former relationship.

Okay, I think questions 1 and 2 are pretty self explanatory as to why you should discuss these with your boyfriend. If you feel comfortable around him and that he is an earnest, hard-working, compassionate guy.  And he also treats you with the utmost dignity and respect, you should do the same for him and enlighten him about your 3 year old. If you are pregnant with his baby now, you should DEFINITELY tell him about that as well.

On to question 3, your gut tells you he is going to propose.  Let’s take it easy here.  You never want to assume anything, especially when your man is going to propose.  If you have been discussing it, then that’s one thing to get excited about it.  If it hasn’t come up in conversation at all, it is best to probably leave it be. It is best to conquer the mountain one situation at a time.  And the current situation is your unplanned pregnancy. Now remember, this is only my advice (if any others reading this have advice here feel free to jump in).  But once you break the news to him about being pregnant, that’s when you begin to ask about how it is going to work out.  You definitely don’t want to just assume that he is going to propose.  Because if he doesn’t, then you are setting yourself up for a HUGE let-down.

For most responsible men, once you tell them that you are pregnant, a sense of manhood and ownership takes control over us.  It triggers our brains to get ready to become the provider that we are meant to be. It may take him a few days or even a week to get his brain together.  But be there with him, as he will be there for you, and talk to him about everything you are thinking as far as theabout your future together. If you are worried about the money and all that keep this in mind, the military always looks out for family!  They will help with medical for you and the baby, housing, etc.  Also, if you do decide to work together on this and the military does help you guys out.  They will also do this in the event he gets deployed, as long as you are living together and have proof that he is the father (paternity test). My advice for living together is to discuss moving in to basic housing, which is provided by the military, to make your living arrangements easier for the both of you.

With question four, it’s only my interpretation and not always true. Typically when you see your significant other’s family, you get a good feel for how he is raised and what values/morals he has. Word of caution though, we all do not turn out as our parents do. Everyone is their own person, so you have to just feel him out and see how he is.  If he is as caring and compassionate as you say, then it doesn’t sound like he is going to go rogue and change based on your unplanned pregnancy.  You said that he is always around and encouraging you.  To me it doesn’t sound like he is going to ‘up and cheat’ on you just because you are pregnant.

As for question five, the reason I asked all this info is because if you are already living together, then both of you splitting the bills should be a natural thing.  When I moved in with my girlfriend (after a month of dating) we immediately sat down together as we began discussing what the bills were (rent, electric, water, etc). We divided them up and both contributed.  She currently makes more money than I do, but with all my checks, I contribute as much as I can and we work it out together.  Obviously if you do not live together, this could be problematic. My suggestion is after you inform him you are pregnant, it would be wise to give him a few days to let everything sink in.  After he has time to get a grasp on being a father, I would sit down with him and present the idea of living together, especially if you have plans of wanting to marry him.  There is no better way of telling if things are going to work out with another individual than living together.  By doing this, you find out everything you need to about a person: likes/dislikes, cleanliness, how well you are in each other’s space, etc.

As far as your parenting skills, all I can say is that you already have your own ways with your 3 year old.  You won’t know how he acts as a parent until you introduce him to your current child.  Basically, tread lightly with this. What I mean is to explain to him your methods and ask if he has any suggestions. Your child is already acclimated to your ways and might rebel against him, if he isn’t consistent with your forms of discipline. Talk to him about what you do with your child and give it a trial run.  The worst thing is not to give him a chance to show that he can take care of business in that department. If it doesn’t work out with him being a disciplinarian, then I suggest you handle your 3 year old and start fresh with the new baby.

Being scared is a natural part of all of this stuff. I mean I’m sitting here writing this and thinking to myself, this poor girl must be petrified. Just remember, take it one day at a time.  Be open, honest, and give him a fair shot to be the man he claims he is. Don’t judge him based off of your previous ‘baby daddy’ because he will grow distant from you.  It will create resentment if he is consistently compared to a former man. Be just as supportive of him as he is of you.  Keep this in mind as well: he is probably just as scared as you are, if not more (as men we will never admit this to our woman).  I hope this helps you with your ‘baby daddy’ issue :).  Congratulations on your pregnancy (even if it was unplanned) and good luck!!

*Slick Rick now needs a vacation haha*

Posted using Tinydesk Writer iPhone app

Exclusive

QUESTION:

I recently started talking to this awesome guy. He’s a strong, confident, giving man. He always makes me a priority and always gets back to me whenever I text or call. Recently, we had a discussion about talking to other people and he told me to go ahead flirting with other guys. He told me to have fun. When I asked him why he wanted me to sleep with other guys, he stopped me and said that was not at all what he intended. So, he asked the question if we were going to be exclusive. I told him I didn’t want to be with anyone else and he said the same. Then a week later, he says we’re only talking and working on a friendship. I am so confused. Do I stay with this guy? What is going on? Is it worth it to be with him? I feel more secure with him than any other guy before him.

ARIANA:

Life can get complicated when people start throwing around terms or simply judging what’s going on by the ‘title’. I’m a firm believer that titles don’t mean everything. With that said, someone whose actions don’t reflect the status of your relationship is saying a lot about the fact that titles really don’t matter. I judge my relationships by how he treats me, not a label. If he makes you feel like a million bucks and he’s exclusive with you, what more do you need? People rush to get the label but don’t push hard enough for the relationship to grow. In time, the relationship will grow. If you can’t wait, then yes, you should walk away. But what do you need right now that he’s not giving you besides the ‘girlfriend’ title? Enjoy what you have, take it day by day, and go with the flow. In time, the title will come later and if not, that’s when you evaluate whether you should go. But that’s later, enjoy the now!

Love at First Sight

QUESTION:

I recently started dating a really great guy. Things are literally PERFECT! We have great chemistry. We can talk for hours on end. We are really close but have only been dating a few weeks. We feel like we’ve known each other and when we’re together we’re always gazing into each other’s eyes. On our first date, we stood in front of my house while he stood in awe of my outfit. I had put my best effort into wearing some nice stilettos, cute skirt and cute top. He takes care of everything! He pays for everything, he’s a gentleman, and he always makes me feel so beautiful with all the compliments he gives. The wrench in this whole thing is that he’s in special ops in the Air Force. Right now he’s training but will eventually get deployed. He’s afraid to marry me because he doesn’t want me or our future family to endure the difficulties of deployment. Nor does he want to get killed in action. He’s told me he’ll work through his fears but I’m not sure what to do. Do I stay? Do I cut it off now before we get closer? Our relationship and bond is without a doubt, PERFECT!

ARIANA:

Sounds like you dear, have found what many people search the ends of the earth for.  It is rare to have that great bond so early into a relationship.  I have known couples who are now happily married after being in a situation like yours.  But, the difference being the deployment issue.  It sounds like he’s very afraid of something that could possibly happen.  If you are to marry this guy, you have to be ready to accept the fact that he may really be killed in action.  You don’t have to live in constant fear that it will happen, but strong enough to accept that possibility, along with the consequences that affect you.  Whether you stay or not is whether you view this guy as a possibility for marriage, but you will get attached the more time you spend with him.  But, you also have to be sure he really is working through his fears, if it’s not something he’s 100% without a doubt sure he doesn’t want marriage and family, given his service in the Air Force, then there is a possibility it could happen.  And if you’re going to stay, I suggest you tighten up your boot straps and learn to be strong enough to show him you’ll be able to take care of the family even while he’s on deployment.  If you don’t show this, you’ll further prove to him that his fears are right and he may walk.  I’m an all or nothing person.  If you’re going to pursue this relationship, which I suggest you do, then you should put your heart and soul in without thinking about walking until you know you’ve given everything you can.  Dating is tough these times and finding a great guy in this day and age, is tough.  Not impossible, but our society has produced many males who are not prepared for marriage nor fatherhood.  And finally, take it day by day, you don’t know what the future holds.  Try not to get so caught up in the future and life as a military family.  Enjoy your time now as you have been, the moment is now.  You don’t get it back.  And if you’re feeling love so soon after meeting, then I know that moment is probably richer than any you’ve experienced.  Live in the now, take some chances, and you never know where life will take you.  And in the end, you part paths, at least you can have the great memories of a love few will ever have.  Don’t give up on love.  If it’s the real, lasting kind, it won’t give up on you.

Top 5 Dating Texts of the Week (Part VIII)

People are funny. And we can never stop laughing at the funny texts we receive. We love them, don’t stop, they really are funny! We want to keep it going! We did include a lovey dovey one this time because it is very sweet. Hey, we’re in the dating world, we’re suckers, what can we say? Who doesn’t want to hear an awesome love story. But, don’t be mistaken, we’re here to entertain you but still be informing and inspiring. Is there any other way to be? We want to see more texts from you readers! We know these dating texts run the gamut, so look at your crazy texts and share your laughter and smiles with the world!!! It’s infectious!

20120310-094243.jpg

20120310-094306.jpg

20120310-094313.jpg

20120310-094321.jpg

20120310-094327.jpg

Top 5 Dating Texts of the Week (Part VI)

Wow, we got such a great response with our recent addition of screen captures for top texts that we decided we’ll keep posting the unthinkable. There’s a very funny element to be seen when the personal, unedited thoughts come out! Oh, yes, it’s the truth we will speak and wanna hear about others. So, here are this week’s! Keep sending us yours, everyone could use a good shocker and laugh.

20120225-025715.jpg

20120225-025731.jpg

 

20120225-025743.jpg

20120225-025749.jpg

Love at First Sight

QUESTION:

I met the most amazing man recently. I had just gotten out of a terrible dating experience with a guy who was very confused and took my emotions for a ride. It was so bad that I decided to cut off all the guys I was dating and scrub my phone of all the guy’s numbers I had gotten last year. Well, I met Mr. Ferrari (he’s awesome and has class) and I gave him my number. He never called and I eventually forgot about him. A couple weeks later I saw him at a different club which I didn’t expect, since he lived an hour away. I was dancing with another guy and just acknowledged the Ferrari’s presence then went wild on the guy I was with. Drama went down and I just walked away from him. I decided just to drop by Mr Ferrari just to be polite. He then told me I gave him the wrong phone number, and we exchanged numbers. We spent the rest of the night together. Now we talk everyday all day morning to night back to back. He’s always calling me and checking on me during his lunch break. He listens to everything I have to say and this is something I’ve never had. He told me how he’s scared to hurt me and I have a hard time believing it, because no man before him was ever like that. I think he’s the one, we are intertwined in a way I’ve never had. I’m so used to just sleeping with a guy soon after but he’s told me he wants to wait til I’m ready. Should I wait? Does it matter really? What should I do? Should I believe him?

ARIANA:

Are you sure if this a real guy? And if he is, he needs to be cloned. A guy who says he wants to wait til you’re ready? Baby girl, trust me when I say he is a very rare rare breed. I would say wait if you’re not ready, especially if you were hurt just recently. Nobody needs back to back heartbreaks. That’s a lot of heart exercises for you. Of course it matters if and how you wait. If you wait, it gives you a better chance to see who he really is and decide if you’re ready to take the next step. If this was something casual, I’d have an entirely different POV. But, if you think he’s the one, then it’s a good idea to take your time. If he’s the one, there’s no rush cause you’ll be headed in the same direction together. I know it’s probably hard to wait if you’re used to having your smash parties shortly after meeting. But if you want something you never had, you have to do things you’ve never done. But, don’t wait too long, you still want to keep that connection there cause I’m guessing you don’t want to end up with him in the friend zone. Just be chill and patient girl, no need to reach forever today. Today is enough for today. If you’ve got a good thing, hold on to it (not too tight though, you don’t want to scare the dude), there are plen-ty of girls who will try to take what you have. Be you, go with the flow and remember sometimes good things do happen. And when you let go of mediocrity, you have a chance at excellence! Now, just send in the contact info for his closest brothers and friends. Woah, psycho! Sorry, I let the psycho sounding person in me get out for a second. Good luck!

‘Pimping’ Lines and Awkward Happenings (Part VII)

This week is a lot more awkward than it is pimp. It seems hard to find pimping lines lately. People just seem to do funny things. What can we say, we all know the best of us are always super rational when it comes to relations with the opposite sex. Uh, yeah, riiiiiiight. So, what was awkward this week, let’s see:

** So I’m dancing when ‘happy feet’ (yes, he was scooting his feet so fast randomly all over the place) starts to dance with me. After we dance and he introduces himself as an out of towner, then he convinces me to meet his brother, then after a few minutes, ‘happy feet’ starts dancing with another girl! **

ARIANAWow, you met ‘happy feet’, really? Lucky girl, I would’ve gotten his autograph!! Looks like he ‘happy feeted’ his away from you. There’s plenty of guys who take flight that easily. But usually they’re a little more obvious if they’re trying to play wingman. Whether he was wanting you at first or playing wingman is less obvious. Just be glad he danced his way back out easily! Now it’s time for me to kick back and watch ‘Lion King’.

**I was a local restaurant/bar and noticed there was a krewe of girls celebrating the crowning of their Mardi Gras queen for the parade. I met the queen and asked her if I could wear her pink wig, she said no. I thought it was rude. What’s the big deal?**

ARIANAWell, would you mind if I just took off your toupe if you were wearing one? What lies beneath fake hair lies beneath because it’s not supposed to be seen! Ever heard of a ‘sig cap’? Definitely not the most flattering look for a girl, think ‘bank robber with pantyhose on his head’. But, well, it’s not over her face, obviously. Just always remember to mess with a girl and her clothes, shoes, make-up or hair and it’ll be simple. Yes, simple! Because we all know girls are simple!!

** My girlfriend of 6 yrs were fighting while we were driving last week with her 4 yr old son in the car and she just got so pissed she yelled at me to drop her and her son off right there. We were like 30 minutes from her house, but she yelled it again. So, I stopped and let them out. Twenty minutes later, I felt bad and went back but she was gone. I found out later, her girlfriend who lives close by picked her up. She’s still pissed a week later. How can I fix this? Was it really that bad? **

ARIANAYES! On a scale of 1 to terrible. You’re on one step less than terrible. But don’t ask me what that step is called, maybe try terrible – 1 = you! First off, don’t ever ever ever do that again. You should know that when we women say things in the moment out of anger, all rational is gone out the window. Yes, confusing, I know. When she said ‘drop me off’, she didn’t mean to drop her off. Yes, I’ll say it again, ‘drop me off’ does not mean to drop her off. Just like, ‘just leave and be with some other girl’ does not mean to leave and find another girl. You have to listen to girls without listening. Yes, on the flip side, girls should not say things they don’t mean. Second, it’s beg time, you have a lot to make up for. Not only did you drop her off, but her 4 yr old son off too! If anything, just stop the car and let everybody cool off. Sometimes it’s hard to be the bigger one and not fight back. I always try to call out the behavior to reset everything like ‘could you please stop yelling at me’ or something similar.

Don’t drop your girl off, otherwise she might happy feet away. Wigs are meant to stay on your head and don’t drink juice while in the neighborhood of your hood or something like that. Boys are boys, girls are girls, dating is confusing but if wasn’t, who would want to do it! Until then, date one, date on!! And here comes Mardi Gras time, we here at STD are ready!

20120216-155741.jpg

%d bloggers like this: