Top 5 Dating Texts of the Week (Part XII)

It’s that time again…for the top 5 dating texts of the week.  We try not to disappoint, and when some crazy things are going on, it makes it easier for us to meet that goal.  It’s always raw, crazy, and definitely of the unexpected.  So, here it goes:

Text #1  Midgets and Little Muscle Men

Text, top 5

Text #1 Midgets and Little Muscle Men


 Text #2:  Clothes are optional



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Text #2: Clothes are optional


Text #3:  Sexual Olympics

Text, texts, text messaging,

Text #3: Sexual Olympics


 Text #4:  Doomed

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Text #4: Doomed


Text #5:  Grown men on air mattresses

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Text #5: Grown men on air mattresses











Posted using Tinydesk Writer iPhone app


Dating while asleep

Q: I met a guy last week while we were out and we danced the night away. I was feeling the vibe and he was attractive and cute. My friends and I decided to grab a bite to eat, and he came along. He definitely was interested just by his body language and he kept looking my way. Afterward, we decided that we’d all take a walk down the beach, as we were walking over, he asked me if I would visit him in Chicago some time. Without thinking about it, I instinctively said ‘yes’. The rest of the night, he relentlessly tried to get me to kiss him, but I refused. If he really wanted me to visit him in Seattle like he said, then he could wait til then. And after that, I thought about it more, I told him he would have to come back down to Miami to visit me first before I’d go up there. So, the rest of the night, we hung out at the beach, went back into one of the local bars that was still open, and watched the sunrise. By then we were both exhausted and we exchanged numbers, agreeing to stay in touch. Now that he’s back home, I can’t tell if he’s interested, this guy averages only 1 or 2 texts per day. Here are the last few conversations we’ve had over the past few days:

March 21 3:18pm

ME: So were you planning on responding to my comment in the last text?

March 21 9:15pm

HIM: Yes I was planning on it. I fell asleep last night and I was busy making dat money all day. I 4got about sayn headn Miami. I was a lil f*ckd up.

HIM: I’m always down for Miami tho

March 22 7:13am

ME: Lol. Interesting. I didn’t realize you were that jacked that night! You said a lot of things! You were spitting out your vacation days next month, do you recall that. So, do you drive around lots with your job?

March 22 5:21pm

HIM: Yeah, I recall that and most of the stuff but it was a long night/day lol. I’m constantly driving around with my job and this week I’ve been real busy bcuz this guy quit so I gotta run his route.

March 23 7:15pm

ME: Guess what, I just met someone from Seattle. Weird. 2nd one I’ve ever met and both were within the same week.

HIM: Seahawks!!

ME: She says ‘Go Colts.’ She grew up loving them!

HIM: Boo! Go seahawks.

ME: She said ‘ewwww’. Haha. I say Go Dolphins! Woot woot!

HIM: Dem Dolphins suck!

ME: Whatev! I’m not a bandwagon fan. I stay true to my team! Say what you want! I ain’t hearin ya!

HIM: I can respect that. Me too, true to Seattle!

ME: Good. I’m glad you get that. I’m competitive, you don’t want to see that side of me. Lol. What are you doing tonight?

HIM: Just got somethin to eat watchin the Seahawks game. I was relaxing cuz of a long day at work. Might head to the club or maybe the casino in a lil.

Should I continue talking to this guy?

A: Wow, I almost fell asleep reading those texts. Is this guy seriously trying to reel you in with these conversations? Not once does he ask about you, that’s a huge sign of lack of interest on his part. Sure he texts you, but he’s definitely not in high pursuit mode to win you over. He sounded like he talked up a big game when he met you, but he was drunk. Guys like that should wear signs on their fore head that say ‘BS’er.’ Obviously the man can’t hang, he either 1) never really dates and doesn’t know what to do 2) is really busy or 3) thinks he can keep you around without any effort and checks in daily to make sure you’ll still respond. And it’s 1) you could give him the benefit of the doubt, but you’re going to have to teach him and boy oh boy do you have a lot of teaching to do, stack on top of that you guys are 1000+ miles away and it’s destined to be a flop. If it’s 2) the guy would make effort regardless or at least tell you he’s busy and he’ll message you later. If he can find time to breathe, he can find a way to get in touch with you. If it’s 3) cut your losses girlfriend, you can do better than finding a man who gives you attention at the rate of 2 texts a day. I think I get more texts than that from my bank alerts! This is all new, so you’ll have to feel out for what his situation is. But if it were me, I’d shake it off, there’s no attachment right now and homeboy apparently can’t even play the game, much less find a bat to step up to the plate with. If anything, at least you can read his texts to put you to sleep. Good night, thanks for the bedtime story!

Slow your roll

Q: I recently connected with an old group of friends. There was a new girl I befriended several months ago that I was attracted to, but I wasn’t ready to get into a new relationship or any serious dating. I’m not a forward guy, so I didn’t pursue her and we never actually exchanged numbers til recently. She got my number from our mutual friend and to my surprise she called me quite a few times in a period of a few days. I thought nothing of it because she is a friendly girl. But last weekend, we spent the whole day at a local festival with a group of friends and I found myself really curious about her. I was even more attracted to other before. I think she feels the same way since she flirts back, is affectionate with me, and occasionally brushes her hand against me. She even gave me hugs all throughout the day for no reason. I figured that was the green light and I found myself wanting to talk to her the next several days. So, I started to be more aggressive and call her, text her and FB her. I really wanted to see her again and hear from her. And a few nights ago, I text messaged her, commented on her wall on her FB, liked a bunch of photos, and sent her a few FB messages in one night. My friend told me it was too much, do you think so? And how often should I contact her?

A: Woah son. This sounds like the makings of a bad movie! Put FB away, shoot, you may even want to turn off the computer. I’m surprised you didn’t show up on her doorstep (now don’t do this now that I mentioned it, this a discouragement to show up on her doorstep unannounced). The girl isn’t disappearing tomorrow (well, hopefully not and most likely not), what’s the rush? Even if you were in a relationship with her, that’s a little much. Even couples need their space, there are other obligations people have like work, family, daily hygiene, kids, hobbies, and errands. It sounds like she’s definitely interested if she initiated getting your phone number and is flirty and touchy with you. Those are all good signs. But if she hasn’t responded to any of your forms of communication, you seriously overdid it that night. Hopefully she’s less likely to write you off than I would be! But, it’s not a total fail. Just back off a little, there isn’t anything that spells needy like someone who constantly contacts you all day or in your case ALL night. Contact her TWO or THREE times only if you haven’t heard back from her. You gotta give the girl time to respond and breathe too, by the way. I’d err on the side of caution and go with 2 most of the time. This shows you have your own life and interests. You don’t want to be THAT guy. A good rule of thumb for text message responses is that an interested person should respond within a 2 hour window (most of the time, that is). And as far as liking her posts or pictures, try not to be the FB addict and psychotic looking person, the last thing you want is for her to open her FB and have 10 or 12 notifications from solely you. Yikes! And above all, take your time, get to know the girl and let her get to know you, that’s something that can’t be rushed. After all, it is the thrill of the hunt that makes dating so fun and confusing at the same time. Relationships aren’t built overnight and just like the rest of life, the good things are worth waiting for. Patience, my man, patience and slow your roll!

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